Welcome to A Date With Darkness Podcast. This podcast is dedicated to those who have been hurt by love and abuse, through their relationships with narcissistic people. The purpose of the podcast is to deepen the understanding of hurtful and traumatic relationships which have been a source of unspoken pain and trauma. In the episodes I will be chatting with various experts in various fields to provide education, tips, resources, and information for those who are survivors of abusive relationships. I will combine my expertise of forensics, domestic violence, and work in various mental health fields to have an intimate discussion with you about abusive relationships, characteristics of dangerous and manipulative people, how to move beyond the victim role, learn to love and heal from the wounds of toxic relationships. If you have a question about the podcast or you want to get in touch with me directly, please feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Thank you so much for listening!
1. Welcome and Introduction
In this podcast episode, Dr. Jones will discuss the passion behind her work and the podcast, defines and educates you on narcissism and abusive personalities, and the inspiration and the meaning of the logo.In this podcast episode, Dr. Jones will discuss the passion behind her work and the podcast, defines and educates you on narcissism and abusive personalities, and the inspiration and the meaning of the logo.
2. My Journey and My Passion
In this episode, Dr. Jones has an intimate discussion about her own personal journey with hurtful relationships, and how she was able to heal and reover from them. Dr. Jones explores why she is personally invested in helping people heal from painful and abusive relationships. While her toxic relationships were costly, Dr. Jones describes how a healthy support system including her therapist and her mentor and reading self-help books were extremely helpful in overcoming her trauma. The books that were helpful to Dr. Jones were both written by Susan Anderson and include: Black Swan: The Twelve Lessons of Abandonment Recovery and The Abandonment Recovery Workbook.
3. Courtroom Banter and Legal Fallout
In this episode, Dr. Jones talks with Nicol Stolar-Peterson, LCSW who specializes in providing expert witness testimony, child custody evaluations, and assessing whether or not a child has been coached in child custody evaluations. Nicol provides valuable insight to behind the scenes preparation of divorce and child custody cases, especially when things turn bitter. Nicol educates us on the importance of staying calm and treating a nasty child custody battle like a business deal. In addition, she provides insight on how to keep your cool in a battle with an ex-partner who is constantly undermining the other parent and using the children as a pawn in the child-custody battle.
4.Building Relationships with Your Children
On today’s episode, I am joined by Selma Bacevac, LMHC. Selma is the owner of the Hope and Healing Center, and also hosts the Parent Child Guru podcast based out of Jacksonville, Florida. Selma specializes in working with adopted children ages 0-5, and their parents. We discuss the importance of parents building relationships and connections with their children; and how a lack to do so can cause children to be traumatized and unable to build healthy relationships of their own. Selma also discussed the telltale signs of children who grow up in abusive and chaotic homes, and what interventions can be used to stop the abuse. If you want to find out more information or connect with Selma, then please reach out to her via her website www.hopeandhealingcenter.com.
5.Sex Outside of Your Marriage and Healing from Infidelity
In this episode, Renelle Nelson,LMFT, CST and I discussed the types of infidelity in relationships, and when recovering from an affair is possible. Renelle also discusses how infidelity recovery is tailored to the type of cheating involved. Lastly, Renelle educates us on the importance of not making the assumptions of monogamy in your relationship; and instead opting to have an open dialogue with your partner about sex outside of the relationship. To connect with Renelle and learn more about her, please visit her on her website: https://www.kaleidoscopeservicesllc.org or http://www.affairaftercare.com
6.Dating Danger: Take Notice of the Red Flags
In this podcast, Dr. Jones has an intimate discussion about the effects of being in abusive and hurtful relationships with narcissists. In this week’s episode, I discuss the red flags that are sometimes missed or ignored when we are dating a dangerous or manipulative individual. These red flags are indicators that a person is not who they portray themselves to be.
7.Finding Fulfillment in Your Relationships
In this episode, I talk with Jihan Madyun, LCSW; owner of the The Fulfillment Project in Washington DC. In this episode, Jihan and I discuss how one’s own lack of fulfillment within themselves can be caused by past traumas and cause them to try and seek out acceptance in others. Jihan describes ways in which we can learn to fulfill our own needs and desires by engaging in regular self-care activities including being mindful and still.
8.Tips For Leaving a Violent Relationship
When we are in a relationship where we are being abused, we often feel alone, powerless, embarrassed, and we may feel as though no one will understand. Thus we try to cover up what’s going on, which thrusts us even further into a dysfunctional and violent relationship. Dr. Jones discusses the steps that we can take to bring awareness to the situation, protect ourselves, and leave an abusive relationship.
9.Difficult Interventions: Helping a Loved One Who Is In An Abusive Relationship
We have all had an experience with a loved one or a friend who has been involved in an unhealthy or abusive relationship, which you desperately wanted them to get out of. Maybe you have been in a toxic relationship yourself. It is very difficult to observe your loved one get hurt or taken advantage of. You give advice and try to help that person in every way possible so that they can get out of the relationship safely; only you are crushed by them staying in the abusive relationship! While your intentions were good, you can start to feel consumed with feelings about a relationship which you are not directly involved in. This episode offers tips and suggestions on how to best support your loved one who is struggling with their abusive relationship without becoming overly invested in the outcome and maintaining healthy boundaries as a support system.
10. Keeping the Faith: The Abusive Power of God and Spirituality
In honor of National Domestic Violence Month, I am joined today by Camille McDaniel, LPCC for a passionate discussion about spiritual abuse. Camille is a Christian counselor in Georgia who specializes in helping those who have been spiritually traumatized. She educates us about spiritual abuse, which includes being hurt and manipulated under the guise of being accepted or faithful to your religious or spiritual beliefs. She and I have a candid discussion on the types of spiritual abuse, the effect that spiritual abuse has on a person, being manipulated by God and religious teachings, being shunned by your spiritual community for not being faithful to the religion, whether you can still be “good enough in the eyes of God if you leave your abusive partner,” as well as well as if we should refuse other help to “just pray about it.”
11. Psychological Abuse: The Way You Treat Me Kills Me
In honoring National Domestic Violence month, the topic of today’s podcast is psychological abuse. Dr. Jones defines and provides real-life examples of psychological abuse, based off of conversations with the participants of her published dissertation study of African American women who were psychologically abused by their parents while growing up. In this episode, Dr. Jones speaks about the women’s experiences of being abused, and how it has affected them well into their adult life.