Welcome to A Date With Darkness Podcast. This podcast is dedicated to those who have been hurt by love and abuse, through their relationships with narcissistic people. The purpose of the podcast is to deepen the understanding of hurtful and traumatic relationships which have been a source of unspoken pain and trauma. In the episodes I will be chatting with various experts in various fields to provide education, tips, resources, and information for those who are survivors of abusive relationships. I will combine my expertise of forensics, domestic violence, and work in various mental health fields to have an intimate discussion with you about abusive relationships, characteristics of dangerous and manipulative people, how to move beyond the victim role, learn to love and heal from the wounds of toxic relationships. If you have a question about the podcast or you want to get in touch with me directly, please feel free to email me at adatewithdarkness@gmail.com. Thank you so much for listening!

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47. Making Self-Love and Self-Validation a Priority For Yourself: Featuring Ms. Zeahlot Lopez, LMFT, LPCC

Today’s episode features Zeahlot Lopez, LMFT, LPCC who is the owner of Vida Therapy in California. I had a lot of fun talking with her about how we can and should love and validate ourselves before entering any relationships. Ms. Lopez provides excellent tips and suggestions on small ways we can regularly show ourselves love! She elaborates on why loving on yourself is essential and vital to your mental health.

Resources :

Websites:

www.therapyforblackgirls.com

www.therapyforlatinx.com

www.melaninandmentalhealth.com

To Contact Ms. Zeahlot Lopez, LMFT, LPCC please visit: www.vidatherapy.com

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46. Narcissism in Black Gay Men: Featuring Dr. Jonathan M. Lassiter, PhD.

Dr. Jonathan Lassiter, PhD., who is a scholarly author, professor, and private practice owner joins us today on the couch. Dr. Lassiter, discusses the evolution and causes of narcissism in gay black men. He also offers an engaging dialogue on how society can help address some of the struggles in the black same sex same gender loving community.

Resources:

Black LGBT Health In the United States: The Intersection of Race, Gender, and Sexual Orientation; edited by Dr. Lassiter, PhD and various others

Black Brothers Esteem: An ongoing support group in San Francisco Bay Area that provides mental and sexual health services specifically for African American same-gender-loving (SGL) men.

Website: http://sfaf.org/client-services/black-brothers-esteem/?utm_source=url-redirect&utm_medium=url-redirect&utm_content=redirect%2Bfrom%2Bclient-services%2Ffor-our-community%2Fblack-brothers-esteem%2Findex.html&utm_campaign=url-redirect-moved-content

National Queer & Trans Therapists of Color Network: A therapist directory and resource guide for LGBT people of color.

Websites: https://www.nqttcn.com/directory AND https://www.nqttcn.com/resources

His Health: An online directory of sexual health programs across the country that specialize in Black SGL men’s health. This site also provides CEUs for providers who work with Black LGBT patients. CEU topics range from PrEP to Transgender Health.

Websites: https://www.hishealth.org/models-of-care AND https://www.hishealth.org/trainings

Henry Health: An app in beta-testing that will provide tele-therapy specifically for Black men to address their emotional and physical health. Website: https://henry-health.com/join-waiting-list/

The Spirit of Intimacy: Ancient African Teachings in the Ways of Relationships: An African-centered book that applies Afrocentric values to intimate relationships as well as discusses the esteemed place of same-sex attracted African and African-diasporic people in relationships and communities. Website: https://www.amazon.com/Spirit-Intimacy-Ancient-Teachings-Relationships/dp/0688175791 – reader_0688175791

To connect with Dr. Lassiter, please visit:

Personal Website: www.jonathanmlassiter.com

Twitter: @matjl

Instagram: @jmlassiterphd

FB: https://www.facebook.com/jonathanmlassiter/

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45. Dangerous In Love Series: Ghosting

This is the 3rd episode of the Dangerous In Love Series, and in this episode I discuss the phenomenon of ghosting – or when things in your relationship come to an abrupt halt for no rhyme or reason and your partner is MIA. What happened? In this episode, I discuss ghosting, why it occurs, and why you should immediately move on past the relationship when you experience it. This episode was also originally recorded as an Instagram and Facebook live video on the podcast page!

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44. Dangerous In Love Series: Gaslighting

This is the 2nd episode of the Dangerous In Love Series, and in this episode I discuss gaslighting. The explanation and origin of gaslighting is explored as well as tactics used, and also discussion about how to recover from gaslighting. This episode was also originally recorded as an Instagram and Facebook live video on the podcast page!

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43. Dangerous In Love Series: Manipulation Tactics of Narcissists

A Date With Darkness Podcast is hosted by Dr. Natalie Jones, Psyd., LPCC, a licensed psychotherapist in Oakland and Sacramento CA. Join Dr. Jones for an intimate discussion about the effects of abuse dynamics and healing from relationship trauma.

This episode is the first in my Dangerous In Love Series, where I discuss manipulation tactics that narcissists use to maintain control in abusive relationships. In this episode, I give a broad over view of common abusive tactics used by narcissists. The episode is also unique in that it was featured first on Facebook and Instagram live!

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42. The Dark Side of the Female Orgasm: Featuring Dr. Laurie Mintz, PhD.

Dr. Laurie Mintz, LP who is in private practice, a professor for the University of Florida, author of Becoming Cliterate & A Tired Woman’s Guide To Passionate Sex joins us on the couch today to discuss the importance and the stigma around a women’s sexual pleasure. Dr. Laurie breaks down why a woman’s sexual satisfaction is often overlooked, and what we as women can do to address misogynistic views around female sexuality. Lastly, Dr. Laurie discusses the red flags in a relationship when a partner is not concerned with your sexual satisfaction – and why you should run as fast as you can if this happens to you!

Resources Mentioned:

Books

Becoming Cliterate, by Dr. Laurie Mintz

A Tired Woman’s Guide To Passionate Sex, By Dr. Laurie Mintzby Dr. Laurie Mintz

Contact Dr. Laurie Mintz, PhD. at:

https://www.drlauriemintz.com/

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41. How The Power of Non-Sexual Touch Can Help Manage Our Emotions, Featuring Shayla Tumbling, LPC-A

Shayla Tumbling, MS, LPC-A and I discuss how non-platonic touch can help with regulating your emotions and mood. She discusses her experience as a professional cuddler and how she teach people how to touch her and themselves in a non-sexual manner. We explore how platonic touch aides in helping us have healthier relationships.

Resources Mentioned:

Somebody Hold Me: The Single Person’s Guide to Nurturing Human Touch, by Epiphany Miriam Jordan

Patterns of Attachment, By Mary Ainsworth 

Love at Goon Park: Harry Harlow and the Science of Affectiion

Contact Ms. Shayla Tumbling MS, LPC-A at: Shayla.tumbling@gmail.com

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40. Understanding Why the Non-Narcissistic Parent is Falsely Accused of Being the Bad Parent, Featuring Dr. Carmen Roman PhD.

I am joined by Dr. Carmen Roman, PhD., who is the host of Emotions In Harmony Podcast, and who also specializes in working with Latino families who have experienced trauma. Dr. Carmen discusses how a narcissistic parent influences the family dynamics. A phenomenon develops where the non-narcissistic parent is neglected and seen as the bad guy through the eyes of the family.

Resources Mentioned:

Blogs:

https://drnataliejones.com/cz4ffao0xy7ok7bbuemml6esyycy4j/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-is-2020/201405/narcissistic-parents-psychological-effect-their-children

Contact Dr. Carmen Roman, PhD. at:

https://armoniaemocional.com/

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39. The Love Junkie: Understanding Love Addiction, Intimacy Disorders, and Sexual Anorexia, featuring Shena Tubbs, LPC

Shena Tubbs, LPC, CSAT-C, trauma recovery coach, host of the Love Junkie podcast, and owner of Black Girls Heal in Houston, TX joins us today to discuss love addiction, problems with intimacy, and sexual anorexia. Shena Tubbs specializes in working with African American women and helping them understand how their early childhood experiences have shaped their ideas about love, intimacy, and sex.
Resources Mentioned:

Books:
Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find and Keep Love by Amir Levine, MD and Rachel Heller, MA

Sexual Anorexia: Overcoming Sexual Self-Hatred by Patrick Carnes, PhD.

Facing Love Addiction: Giving Yourself Power to Change the Way You Love by Pia Melody

Avoidant: How to Love or Leave a Dismissive Partner, by Jeb Kennison

Support:

Sex Addicts Anonymous

Love Addicts Anonymous

Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous

Contact Shena Tubbs, LPC at:

www.blackgirlsheal.org

http://www.shenatubbs.com

http://www.shenathetherapist.com

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38. Healing the Broken Spirit: Reflections of How Sexual Assault Affects Women of Color

In this discussion, I invited guest Babita Spinelli, a licensed psychoanalyst in NY/NJ who specializes in treating women of color who have suffered childhood sexual assault. Babita and I discuss the importance of addressing the cultural differences in women of color who are survivors of sexual assault in their community. She discusses the extra barriers that women of color must face in their communities, treatment, and families.

Resources Mentioned:

The Courage To Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse

It Wasn’t Your Fault: Freeing Yourself From the Shame of Childhood Abuse WIth Compassion

www.Rainn.org

Contact Babita Spinelli at www.openingthedoorspsychotherapy.com

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